Smelling Your Partner’s Farts Can Make You Live Longer, Study Finds

Researchers from the University of Exeter have revealed smelling your partner’s farts will make you live longer, thanks to a chemical compound.

The study, published in the journal Medicinal Chemistry Communications, analysed the impact of the gas hydrogen sulfide which humans produce in small amounts. Well, some produce smaller amounts than others but you know what they say about throwing stones in glass outhouses.

Although it was found to be noxious in large doses, researchers discovered cellular exposure to small amounts of the gas can prevent mitochondrial damage which has many health implications. And presumably societal ones as well.

One of the researchers, Dr. Mark Wood, said:

“Although hydrogen sulfide is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero.”

There’s no word of yet if this hero has been cast a part in Avengers: Endgame but that would be a plot turn nobody would’ve seen coming in the battle against Thanos. And everyone knows the silent ones are the most violent. Hollywood recruiters, you know where to find me.

The gas in farts could potentially reduce the risk of several life threatening illnesses including cancer, stroke and heart attacks.

According to researchers, it has also been proven to prevent arthritis and dementia in old age.

Creating a new compound know as AP39, the team at the university believe this can hold the key to future therapies as it ensures that the body retains and produces the right amount of hydrogen sulfide.

Researchers claim that this compound can be delivered to targeted cells in the body and placed inside.

Professor Matt Whiteman, from the university’s medical school, added:

“When cells become stressed by disease, they draw in enzymes to generate minute quantities of hydrogen sulfide.

This keeps the mitochondria ticking over and allows cells to live. If this doesn’t happen, the cells die and lose the ability to regulate survival and control inflammation.

We have exploited this natural process by making a compound, called AP39, which slowly delivers very small amounts of this gas specifically to the mitochondria.

Our results indicate that if stressed cells are treated with AP39, mitochondria are protected and cells stay alive.”

According to the scientists the research has shown that if AP39 is administered, in models of cardiovascular disease 80 percent of the heart’s mitochondria cells survive under highly destructive conditions.

Early results also that showed AP39 can help to lower high blood pressure and also dramatically improve the chances of survival after a heart attack by slowing the heartbeat making it more efficient.