Trying to meet dates online is difficult enough to begin with, without people going out of their way to be jerks. Tinder, especially, is rough because all you’ve got to go on is a few pictures without all the information that an actual dating profile gives you. So you have no idea at all what someone is like beyond their looks.
That’s information that would have been especially useful to one 23-year-old (who wishes to remain unidentified) who swiped right on a dude named Conner. Of course, she had no way of knowing what kind of person Connor was until he messaged her and made it pretty damn clear. A horrible person, that’s what kind. Like, really above and beyond.
Connor took it upon himself to contact this woman, despite having no interest in dating her, just to let her know that she was overweight. For. Real.
It’s honestly a little surprising that someone could be this cruel to someone that they don’t even know. He also seems to have a lot of free time on his hands. Maybe Connor needs some hobbies? Kicking puppies would probably be right up his alley.
Connor told the woman to “be humble” and “stay in [her] league,” and said that “females were full of themselves.” Luckily, she had enough confidence to let Connor know that she didn’t much care what he thought about her.
The woman pointed out a crucial truth: “There is no one type of person I’m supposed to be with just because of how I look.”
It’s amazing that she even had the patience to go back and forth with him for as long as she did.
Speaking to Elite Daily, the woman said,
“What I want people to know at the end of the day [is that] it’s more important to be known for being a kind person or an intelligent person or loving and caring rather than what I look like. Being called fat hurts, but there are worse things I could be called, and I know that I bring to the table a lot more than he will ever realize because I treat people kindly, with love and respect, regardless of their appearance.”
And she’s 100% right.
Here are some helpful tips from PsychologyToday on how to respond to people like this:
Keep Your Cool and Avoid Being Reactive
A common characteristic of bullies is that they project their aggression to push your buttons and keep you off balance. By doing so, they create an advantage from which they can exploit your weaknesses.
Know Your Fundamental Human Rights
As long as you do not harm others, you have the right to stand-up for yourself and defend your rights. You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty.
Utilize Assertive and Effective Communication
As mentioned above, avoid interacting with aggressors unless you absolutely have to.
Overall, remember that you are in charge. Walk away if you must, block, ignore, whatever. Just do what you have to do to keep the haters at bay. You deserve happiness.