It’s hard to look around you and see people in loving relationships when you feel as though you haven’t been able to make things work.
As the years go by, you worry. Will you ever find love?
This concern can make you feel lonely and desperate whether you have had a deep connection that just didn’t work out or never found that special someone. It might make you rethink your beliefs about whether there is really a perfect person out there for you.
What are the chances of meeting “the one”?
You can find a wide range of mathematical odds on dating advice websites. However, some people never meet their true love. That said, I’d like to suggest that you refrain from panicking.
First of all, the idea that “the one” is out there waiting for you may be misguided. This is a myth that is perpetuated by romance novels, movies and cultural stereotypes. There was a time when divorce was frowned upon. During that time, the idea of finding one person to love forever was supported. It’s an ideal that has been preserved today.
There are other reasons why some people never meet “the one.” Are you waiting for that magical creature that has no flaws and jives with your every desire? That may be unrealistic.
Humans are complex, and we all have the ability to connect with others in a variety of ways. You can think of yourself as a being with thousands of sockets. Our loved ones fulfill us by plugging into those sockets.
However, it’s virtually impossible to find someone who fills all of those sockets. Your lover may plug into you spiritually but have issues with financial responsibility. You may find a significant other who is an amazing parent and life partner but doesn’t inspire you creatively.
If you wait for someone to plug into all of your sockets, you might end up disappointed. A major factor in finding love is digging deep into your internal desires and becoming clear about your priorities. Also, you may not be able to establish a gratifying relationship with someone else until you develop a fulfilling relationship with yourself.
How to know if you will ever meet the one, and why you should keep your chin up:
3. You’re Growing Every Day
A huge reason for optimism is that with every day you’re single, you get to know yourself a little better. It gives you time to accept yourself and figure out the kind of life you really want to live.
That means you’ve got a better chance of eventually picking a partner that’s actually right for you in the long term, if and when they come along.
Every day that you’re able to grow lessens your chances of throwing in your lot with the wrong person and getting swept up in a relationship that you wouldn’t get caught up in or seduced by if you were just a little older and wiser. Better alone than in poor company, after all.
2. You’re Free
Take a look at your friends that are in relationships. Are they all blissfully happy? Thought not.
The grass is always greener, and as much as single people spend time dreaming about being in a relationship, those that are coupled-up often miss the freedom of the single life, so enjoy it.
This is your time. The time when you eat exactly what you want, go where you want when you want with who you want, and don’t have to take anyone else into account.
Sure, you might have other commitments in the shape of children, pets, or a business, but if you’ve got no ties then make the most of it. Spread your wings, change jobs, take a trip. Who knows, you might just be looking for love in the wrong place.
1. You Can Shape Your Own Life
Imagine for a moment you could look into the future and know for sure that you’re never going to find love.
How would you do things differently? Would you give more of your love to family and friends? Would you aim to live on every continent? Would you go back to your studies? Would you take more risks?
We never stop and realize how the idea that we’re eventually going to meet someone and will then have to accommodate their needs is a limitation on us… before we’ve even met them.
When you analyze it, it seems insane that we’re willing to live our lives just waiting for that mythical person to come along, planning ahead for it.
With the certainty that we’ll end up alone, rather than just the fear of it, comes the ultimate liberation.
Live your life as if romantic love will never be a part of it, and you’ll be being true to yourself and what you really want.